Sinking Deep

i have never felt so low in so long. it's a hard slap from reality, and also makes me appreciate the times i actually had it good (yet i could not see). i have never been so engulfed by negativity and spiraled this out of control before, i don't think. it's been a harrowing week, with lows and low-lows. ironically, unexpected people asked me how my week was going, in the midst of all the chaos. i don't really know what to think of that, because my replies to them were mostly the same; i shared some of my struggles, but could not bring myself to pour it all out on one single being. it's selfish, i'm selfish with my feelings, for some reason, and i just let it eat me up inside.