Philippians 3:13

I don't want to be over-dramatic over here, but I feel that my life has had it's ups, extreme ups, downs and extreme downs. Maybe to someone else who has experienced more(worse/better), mine doesn't seem as much as it does to them, as it does to me. That's why, I said my life, not anyone else's, because really, I feel that a lot of the time, each and everyone person only sees such a small fragment/phase of another person's life and many a time, harsh judgement is made based on that one time frame of that other person's life. We don't know anyone else's life better than our own, so who are we to judge them? That's another topic altogether.

There are many things I've done in the past/ people have done to me that I regret and look back with a strong sense of anguish and melancholy; little(or, no) animosity though. I have always thought of myself to be a forward-looking individual, and I like that idea of myself. Even though I've been down in the valley, I know that that's where I grow and learn most. The mountaintop feeling is what everyone wants, but you can only stay up there for awhile before going back down into the valley to teach and guide other people how to get up there and achieve the same feeling. Sometimes, while climbing, we fall down and have to restart. This may happen many consecutive times in a row. I know that my God is there for me, and He's there with me every step and every fall. He's the reason I wake up everyday to continue this struggle of a climb. There has been a few points in my life where I've fallen into the dark valley and lost all hope and trust in the Lord, I didn't try to go up again for a long time. I thought God wasn't with me, but He was, in the darkness He protected me and guided me. There are some people I wish I hadn't let penetrate into my life as much as they did, and as a result were able to do the things they did, but it's been done, and what's left now is to stop looking back and keep pressing forward.

I don't know how to unfriend someone. Passive rejection doesn't work all the time. But I know there are some people I need to get a little farther from, because they're standing in the way between my God and I. Been praying about this one for a long time, initially about what I should do, and then God answered that. Now, I've been praying about how to get closer to God, and my eyes have been opened to some people and things that are standing in the way. God help me, again.