Not with haste

The end of October was a tiring one. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

November started with a great game (even though we lost) with the team which left me bawling my eyes out after, and me getting my first POL-ITE medal. It was such a good experience and I'm so blessed to have been given that chance to play with the team. I'm so fortunate to have be blessed with wonderful team mates and amazing coaches in my life, thus far. 

The rigor of school is really starting to start again and I would like to think I'm handling my time quite well after 7 weeks of no school. I really like being around people, and that's what keeps me going in school sometimes. Of late, school hasn't been all that enjoyable, but I really don't want to hate it because it's something I have to go through (almost) everyday, and hating it would make it a tough thing to have to go through. 

In church last Saturday, I made a promise to myself that I will not lose my patience with a certain somebody who I haven't been able to be on level terms with lately, and to make sure I do this, I told my mentor and I made myself and my feelings accountable to her. 

Day 1: I didn't lose my patience today; instead, the strongest emotion I felt was sadness. I almost cried today because I just want SO bad for the situation to improve, even just slightly. This downward spiral is wearing me out and the fact that I cannot bring myself to hate anyone makes things so much harder - but hard is the way. I've been put through this for a reason that I do not know yet, but I will do the right things and make the right choices and say the right things. Maybe, just, maybe, if they're able to see me doing the right things, they'd choose to do the same too (Dear God please help me)